career advice

  • A love letter to all the Moms at Work

    Hey you,

    Come and sit down. 

    I have one thing to say and if you don’t read any further just take this message with you every single place you go. 

    I am really proud of you.

    Proud of you for showing up.  For saying no. For trying your hardest to be all the things. For all of it.

    No one talked about how hard this would be.

    No one prepared you for the guilt, the anger, the rage and the sadness that would come with what working + mothering would bring.

    I want to tell you something else. You have done nothing wrong. 

    It isn’t that you didn’t work hard enough, put in enough hours, lean in the right way or took the wrong women’s leadership course. The truth is – that work wasn’t designed for you. It wasn’t made for caregivers – but that doesn’t make it right. And I am NOT telling you to just accept this and move on.

    I want you to come in close and listen to me. 

    You are not alone. There are MILLIONS of working mothers and I want to tell you a secret. We are organizing. 

    Now, I want you to imagine this. 

    You get invited to dinner and all you need to do is show up.

    You don’t need to put on make up or get a babysitter or bring wine.

    You don’t need to email and remind your partner to come with you.

    You don’t even need to RSVP – because we are always here for you.

    We just want you. 

    All of you – not hiding pieces of yourself.

    I want you to bring your ambition and your kid’s special needs and your love for music and your stories of how you were denied a promotion. I want you to share your amazing grades from school, your volunteer work. I want you to be too much. I want you to be angry and furious and full of laughter. I want it all.

    I want you to sit down and see me smiling at you.

    Welcome to Moms at Work I say. 

    We have been waiting for you.

    We are going to make this better. 

    Not by fixing you. You are perfect.

    We need to change work and expectations and that is not easy but I promise you it is indeed possible.

    I want you to come and listen and learn and I want you to share the things you learn with other women, your kids, your partner and your workplace. I want you to talk about us. I want you to bring us with you to work, on your walk with friends and when the time comes I want you to bring us to talk with your workplace. I want you to bring others to join us.

    I want you to know that you don’t need to do this alone. You don’t need to fight everyday but you do need to try, and fail, and then sit down and be frustrated. But then I want you to get up. Try again. And if it is too heavy hand it to me. I can take it. I promise you I can. 

    I want you to know that you are no longer alone. You are a part of something big. 

    You are now part of something bigger than we could never have imagined.

    I believe in all the things that Moms at Work can be.

    I believe in you.

    I believe in myself 

    And sometimes that belief is more important than anything else in the world.

    So come and sit with us. But if you take nothing from this letter other than one thing – let it be this.

    Remember how very very proud I am of you.

    Love,

    Al

    Allison Venditti

    Founder – Moms at Work http://www.thisismomsatwork.com

    If you never want to miss a touching love letter, update on our advocacy, our latest project to support the change of parental leave in Canada or how to join our Collective group before it fills up (and it always fills up!) Join our newsletter here

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  • 10 reasons why job hunting sucks

    A discouraged woman sits in front of her laptop with head in her hands.

    When I googled ‘job hunting’ the search results that came up were all about reformatting your resume, networking and meeting people for coffee. That made me think. Does ANYONE actually enjoy job hunting?

    The answer dear reader is no. Nobody enjoys looking for work.

    So, today I am doing the OPPOSITE of every other career coach out there. I’m not going to tell you to make a plan and focus more. I am going to tell you that this sucks.

    Here we go!

    1. Where do you see yourself in five years?

    I see myself NOT having to answer this question, Jeff. EVER AGAIN. To all the HR people who read this blog, can we just remove this question from the deck? Pick something else.

    2. Cover Letters are stupid.

    Save me the heartfelt pleas that cover letters are a good way for applicants to demonstrate their writing skills. No one enjoys writing them. There are 100 other ways to get information from a potential candidate. We can move on now?

    3. Ghosting applicants.

    So, let me get this straight. After asking me to do three interviews, two contemporary dance routines and give you my closest six friends as references, you don’t even have the decency to tell me that I didn’t get the role?

    I feel like there should be a special place in hell for hiring managers who don’t take the time to email candidates when they don’t get the job.

    4. Thank you for submitting your resume.

    NOW TYPE OUT THE WHOLE THING AGAIN IN OUR APPLICANT TRACKING SYSTEM.

    5. Group interviews and coffee dates.

    I kid you not there was one time when after a THIRD interview the hiring manager informed me that the final step would be me and the other top candidate to….wait for it….join the HR team for a group coffee.

    HARD PASS. I actually laughed when I read the email.

    6. It wasn’t a REAL job posting.

    What many people don’t know is that often times recruitment firms will put out “prime” job postings to build their talent pool. Yep, that is right. That remote job that pays $100K. Not real. They want you to apply so that you upload your resume into their database so when a client asks about their “talent base” the numbers look impressive.

    7. But you didn’t even LOOK AT IT?

    You did your keyword research, you typed it in, uploaded the resume, double checked everything. Then you hit ‘submit’ and 4.2 seconds later REJECTED. Did you not use the word stakeholder enough? Did you not give them the right metrics? Does anything even matter anymore?

    8. If one more person tells me to network…

    You know what I REALLY love doing when I am looking for work? Meeting with random strangers and smiling. Showing them how great I would be because my husband’s friend’s sister said so. (Though shameless plug – the Moms at Work Collective makes networking not seem like networking. It is awesome!)

    9. Are you interviewing for other jobs?

    I love that question. They are looking at my resume. I am unemployed. What is the right answer here? NOOOO – of course not! I was just WAITING for you to come into my life.

    Should I answer honestly? I actually scattered resumes from the top of a large building and could care less what company will help me pay my rent. Do I get points for that?

    10. Please tell us your desired salary.

    My desired salary is $16 million, Steve. SIXTEEN MILLION. But in all seriousness. This is how to answer that question.

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