Hi, I’m Allison Venditti, and this is the Moms at Work podcast. I’ve been an HR professional and a career coach for over a decade, and our team has helped thousands of women grow their careers. So whether you’re burnt out, underpaid, or just plain fed up, this podcast is here to fuel your fire, connect you to our movement, and help you take your career to the next level.

Today we’re diving into a big topic — the one that’s going to make you question everything you’ve been taught since your very first job. And if you haven’t guessed it already: salary negotiation.

Salary negotiation is something I’ve done for as long as I can remember, mostly on the employer side. So when you were negotiating your salary, I was often the person on the other side of the table. I’ve done this for executives, nurses, manufacturing, middle management — you name it, I’ve probably negotiated with them.

Then I spent the last seven years negotiating for women, with women, and teaching women how to negotiate. And today, we’re going to do that right here in a podcast episode.

When I started talking about salary negotiation and saw how rare it was for women, for people of colour, and for new immigrants to negotiate, I saw exactly why the wage gap exists. A lot of it is systemic — but a lot of it is also the stories we tell ourselves.

They’re going to think I’m greedy.
I don’t want to seem difficult.
They’re giving me a job — I should be grateful.
This is a decent offer.
I don’t want to ruffle feathers.

Those are the exact thoughts going through people’s heads. And today I want to talk about why that’s actually not what the other side of the table is thinking at all.

So pull up a chair — we’re going to burn a lot of these myths to the ground and talk about how to actually do this.

Let’s start with math. Fun. Everyone loves math, right? But I need you to understand the numbers around women and negotiation.

Women in Canada — and this is consistent across many countries — are paid about 82% of what men make. And the fact that this holds true from Iceland to Canada to Africa tells us something important: this is a global problem.

Now here’s the fun part. When you become a mother, you lose an additional 5% of income for every child you have. Let me say that again: the wage gap plus 5% per kid.

If you never negotiate your salary over the course of your career, you’re leaving about a million dollars on the table.

That’s not a small number.

There was a Pulitzer Prize awarded for research on the motherhood penalty. When we’re giving out Nobel Prizes in economics for a problem, it tells you how serious it is.

This isn’t just you. It’s not your fault. And there are ways to push back — through legislation like pay equity and pay transparency, which we’ll talk more about in another episode — but I want to sit with that million-dollar number for a second.

When people hear it, they scoff. I don’t make that much money. That would never happen. So let’s break it down.

When we’re negotiating salary, we’re not talking about an extra latte. We’re talking about housing. Debt-free university. Retirement. Money equals power. Money equals freedom. Money equals choice.

And when women have power, freedom, and choice, they change the world.

Some people struggle to talk about money because we were taught it’s rude. But that hasn’t always been the case. If you look at job postings from the 30s, 40s, and 50s, salaries were listed right there. Pay transparency used to be the norm.

As companies grew bigger and profits grew larger, control over pay narratives tightened. Now, pay transparency legislation is coming back — in many U.S. states, and in places like British Columbia, PEI, and Ontario. And that matters.

But here’s the thing: salary negotiation is about more than money.

It’s vacation time. Remote work. Benefits. Professional development. Working fewer hours. Negotiation is how you advocate for yourself and make work work for you.

The problem is, most of us were never taught how to do this. We were taught to be grateful, agreeable, and quiet.

So let’s play a game.

Put a finger down if you were told you were lucky just to have a job.
Put a finger down if you were taught it’s rude to talk about money.
Put a finger down if you were told to wait until next year for a raise.
Put a finger down if your parents encouraged you to get a safe job with a pension.
Put a finger down if you worried asking for more money would make you seem greedy.
And put a finger down if you were told you had to “put in your time” to earn more.

Do you have any fingers left?

That’s why negotiation feels hard. We were conditioned not to ask. The good news? You can unlearn this.

When I ask women what more money would mean, no one says a yacht. They say things like: camps for their kids, paying down a mortgage, family vacations, university savings.

So here’s the shift: frame salary negotiation as advocating for your kids. If someone was trying to take money away from your children, you’d fight harder — and that’s exactly what this is.

Before any negotiation, ask yourself: If I made $10,000 more a year, what would that change for my family? Write it down.

Now let’s talk process.

When you’re applying for a job and there’s no salary range, your first move is to get that range — before they respond. Ask HR. Ask your network. Ask inside Moms at Work.

Women typically undervalue themselves and come in at the bottom of the range or below. Hiring managers usually aim for the middle.

Once you’re negotiating, remember this is a compensation package. Ask about benefits, vacation, disability coverage, parental leave top-ups, start dates — all negotiable.

Now the big fear: What if I negotiate and they take the offer away?

I’ve spent 20 years in HR. I have rescinded two offers — and neither was because someone negotiated. They involved serious issues like lying or legal violations.

We do not pull offers because you ask for more money.

By the time you have an offer, we’ve invested time, approvals, legal review, and chosen you. Pulling it would make us look terrible.

Another thing to know: the person you’re negotiating with is usually not a professional negotiator. Often it’s an HR recruiter passing along information. You’re not up against a hostage negotiator.

And if they say no? That’s it. They say no. Nothing bad happens.

If they can’t move on money, ask for vacation. Ask for fewer hours. A 35-hour work week instead of 40 is a very real option.

I won’t walk you through my entire salary negotiation framework here — that’s what our masterclasses and courses are for — but if you invest in anything in your career, networking and salary negotiation should be at the top of the list.

Negotiating doesn’t just help you. It helps close the wage gap. It teaches your kids what’s possible.

I want to end with a shout-out to my dad. He negotiated everything in front of me — cars, appliances, work. The worst thing that ever happened was someone said no.

That was a gift. Especially for daughters.

So shout-out to my dad, and to all parents who talk about money and show their kids it’s okay to ask.

If you need help, we have salary negotiation masterclasses, courses, and free resources on our website. Wherever you are, just start. Start thinking about it. Start talking about it. Start learning.

I’m Allison Venditti, reminding you that you’re doing a good job.