Hey you,
Come and sit down.
I have one thing to say and if you don’t read any further just take this message with you every single place you go.
I am really proud of you.
Proud of you for showing up. For saying no. For trying your hardest to be all the things. For all of it.
No one talked about how hard this would be.
No one prepared you for the guilt, the anger, the rage and the sadness that would come with what working + mothering would bring.
I want to tell you something else. You have done nothing wrong.
It isn’t that you didn’t work hard enough, put in enough hours, lean in the right way or took the wrong women’s leadership course. The truth is - that work wasn’t designed for you. It wasn’t made for caregivers - but that doesn’t make it right. And I am NOT telling you to just accept this and move on.
I want you to come in close and listen to me.
You are not alone. There are MILLIONS of working mothers and I want to tell you a secret. We are organizing.
Now, I want you to imagine this.
You get invited to dinner and all you need to do is show up.
You don’t need to put on make up or get a babysitter or bring wine.
You don’t need to email and remind your partner to come with you.
You don’t even need to RSVP - because we are always here for you.
We just want you.
All of you - not hiding pieces of yourself.
I want you to bring your ambition and your kid’s special needs and your love for music and your stories of how you were denied a promotion. I want you to share your amazing grades from school, your volunteer work. I want you to be too much. I want you to be angry and furious and full of laughter. I want it all.
I want you to sit down and see me smiling at you.
Welcome to Moms at Work I say.
We have been waiting for you.
We are going to make this better.
Not by fixing you. You are perfect.
We need to change work and expectations and that is not easy but I promise you it is indeed possible.
I want you to come and listen and learn and I want you to share the things you learn with other women, your kids, your partner and your workplace. I want you to talk about us. I want you to bring us with you to work, on your walk with friends and when the time comes I want you to bring us to talk with your workplace. I want you to bring others to join us.
I want you to know that you don’t need to do this alone. You don’t need to fight everyday but you do need to try, and fail, and then sit down and be frustrated. But then I want you to get up. Try again. And if it is too heavy hand it to me. I can take it. I promise you I can.
I want you to know that you are no longer alone. You are a part of something big.
You are now part of something bigger than we could never have imagined.
I believe in all the things that Moms at Work can be.
I believe in you.
I believe in myself
And sometimes that belief is more important than anything else in the world.
So come and sit with us. But if you take nothing from this letter other than one thing - let it be this.
Remember how very very proud I am of you.
Love,
Al
Allison Venditti
Founder - Moms at Work http://www.thisismomsatwork.com
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